Resistance

[juu]

Hey,

Since a long time, i have feeling bad. As i said in previous posts, i have felt non-existing, living in a world full of sadness, grief, unjustice... a harsh world, where you need and obligated to work just to eat or survive.
I have always felt somethings wrong, but people doesnt. it has been overwhelming for me.
Im 27, i have never had a real job. Its hard to explain, but its like this resistance for me, for making money... its like, i despite it.. its like the soruce of all evil here.. i dont care about it.. i need so little to survive, but somehow im still in the trap, It gets to the point that i would be embarrassed to have a lot of money.. because of all the people in need... i think i couldn do it..

this Resistance I felt, it happen with a lot of things. Mostly, with things i love to do... for example, music, writing, stuff that make sme happy. I start doing it, and suddenly, i feel like I cant continue, It is why almost all the things i began to do, i leave them unfinished...its hard to explain, but it has happen my all life. Even thouh i know a have huge potential on it..

The day before yesterday i felt like the day was full of mistakes, dont know how else to explain it.. but it was. Stuff happened that wasnt suppossed to... but it was little things, but the only thing i can say, is it was mistakes..

Something odd happened yesterday too... I decided to enlist myself in an online course, of philosoy and films.. also, i decided to send a story (begin to write a story would be more accurate) for a some kind of "competition"... The thing is, that at night i felt out of bed, super weird, it neves has happened before, what i did not know is that when i felt i landed in my computer and broke it ... it happened the day, when i "start" to take things in control, or do things i "love".. Its like LIfe pushed me out of bed to broke the computer... and now, i dont have the money to fix it, and most likely wont be able to finish the things i planned (The writning competition and the online course)

This "resistance" i found on my mind and life in general as i have said, is hard, fighting it, its like impossible... I thought it was, some kind of uncounciouss blocking of not wanting to grow, in order to work, or to write, etc...but as i have read here, it doesnt work like that.. so my question, this resistance things i find in my life, most of them, with things i "love" or "passionate" about, could this be implants or stuff like that..??

Its like my whole life, ive been fighting for doing what i want, because always i found a wall.... i dont know what to do... right know, i feel lost.. i know reading stuff in this forum, or in general, about the "real truth".. but the truth is, it has kept me a little in the air, and not doing , could it be named "3d work life"?? in order to survive and take control of my life.. but its like, i can´t.. like somebody is trying to make me give up..... anyway.. i hope anybody could know of what im talking about... its getting really tiring... and i dont know what to do... all i wanna do , is cry..

I know everything woud be allright, and this is just a phase, (3d life) but this 3d sh%"& ... it gets real.. and it can really affect you.. any way, hope everything is allright with you

hugs

[Rosebelle]

mind to share more details on these below?
when i felt i landed in my computer and broke it
Its like LIfe pushed me out of bed to broke the computer

[juu]

Well, what I meant was that it was so weird how i fell.. I was dreaming something, but I really cant remember it.. It was like a floating white thingy that I tried to dodge.. Its all i can say :S .......
I said that it was like somebody pushed me beacuse of the "importance" of the computer to me at that moment, and how it went broke when i have decided to "do" something with my life, so to speak :P ...

Im sorry i cant give any more details, maybe I just fell, and it was all a coincidence.. but i feel its not.. dont know if thats enough ..
¡Damn this resistances that i found when i want to do something i love!..

anyway... maybe its not as important as i put it here.. sorry for bothering i its like that... thank you for replying

[Rosebelle]

it is not resistance
when u find something which dont work/work against you
and you try to use the vocabulary provided by dark to describe it, you fell into their trap

this floating white thing could be something string shit or non string shit or hologram or avatar or illusion or something else
nothing happened by chance in this world
so thing that happened to you is calculated too
it is your response that counts
why do you follow the script/ai/program in your mind/intuition/thoughts/nerve system when you encountered the pushing? why didnt you pause for a while and think about the consequences?

when you said you fight against something, "uncounciouss blocking" and yet at the same time, you are still obeying "unconscious following" thru following what implant, mind, thoughts, avatar, nerve system, told or ask you to do (well if you do thing without thinking, its still consider as unconscious following )

[Δύναμις]

it is not resistance
when u find something which dont work/work against you
and you try to use the vocabulary provided by dark to describe it, you fell into their trap
.....
it is your response that counts
why do you follow the script/ai/program in your mind/intuition/thoughts/nerve system when you encountered the pushing? why didnt you pause for a while and think about the consequences?

when you said you fight against something, "uncounciouss blocking" and yet at the same time, you are still obeying "unconscious following" thru following what implant, mind, thoughts, avatar, nerve system, told or ask you to do (well if you do thing without thinking, its still consider as unconscious following )

Good points, Rosebelle!

@juu
I like the at the end of your post

You have a quite complex personality and it is not easy to cope with all your parts (you probably know this already from your own experience with yourself). Please don't take this wrong, there is no judgement in it. Many of us had to make cruel deals with the darks to be able to incarnate and be here now. The only question is how to recognize the "own" dark influenced parts and how to eliminate them or at least don't pay any further attention to them. The recognition part is the hardest one, because we use to think that those parts "belong" to us. The truth is, that those parts don't belong to us and we don't need to accept them as own parts. This is also a step towards what Protoi call "awakening". Our awakening doesn't coincide with what the common spiritual world calls awakening (this is rather "keep asleep" in our terms but not awakening).

I did read your whole post, but I won't go into personal details here as I already mentioned in other posts, because I just don't know you personally and I may make mistakes which won't be easy to correct. I prefer to give you general hints and answers, where possible.

[juu]

Thank u both.. i think im getting there.. well. The awakening..
it is true.. sometimes it feels like having multiple feelings or tougts.. im now going to start ro diferienciate them.. and to avoid dark toughts... is it possible that they are emerging as things are fixed here on earth?? I mean this multiple emotions and toughts...

[Rosebelle]

Thank u both.. i think im getting there.. well. The awakening..
it is true.. sometimes it feels like having multiple feelings or tougts.. im now going to start ro diferienciate them.. and to avoid dark toughts... is it possible that they are emerging as things are fixed here on earth?? I mean this multiple emotions and toughts...

it is not easy to differentiate them..it depend on individual..
how do u avoid dark thoughts? it is not so easy too. it is somehow integrated somewhere..but you can try to manage them
what do you mean by emerging as things are fixed here on earth? what are things fixed?

[juu]

Well, i mean by fixing, what you prototipo are doing... It Will not get easier in time, as you continúe to celan all this mess? Or it Will be the same and it depends on each individual?? I guess it is... As u said the awakening depends on each person,,, but somehow, its really hard... Well, nobody said it Will be easy, Well, maybe they did say it, but now we know its not...



Think u for your patience with me, i guess i Came to this forum too early.. As im only in the awakening Face

[Rosebelle]

no, in my opinion, it is not an issue of late or early
it is because everyone of us got split into many parts and somewhat lost
even some of the darks
some of the mess is global, some of the mess is individual , so you will have to do your part while they do their part
there is no magic pill

how you define awakening?
do you define it in protoi term of awakening here http://www.presbeia-protoi.org/index.ph ... _Awakening
or you define it in common spiritual trap that u need to attend course by guru and attend level 1 course then upgrade to level 2 course etc

please check with protoi for more info

[juu]

Thank u rose... Well, by awakening im referng moré or less about the protoi way.. But even there im far away.. I know all of the ítems and i find those doable, Well not easy, but dable..
Im now finding my individuality, Well, i think i am.. Im just in the pase where im beggining to recognice Whois is really me, and what is not me.. In the chart it sayos that is importante to know Whois you really are, but hoy can u? Well, i guess in time youll remember.
I have always feel the urge to "wake up" or to remember Whois i am.. And find my path.
Its funny how as timé pases, im feeling moré and moré "lucid".. Well, at least i think so, im beggining moré and moré to be the "real" me.. Its like i've been asleep for a long time, and now im only starting to open my lazy eyes. It has to do with this era? The aquaruis/light era? Or is that a dark inv. Too?
I say it like this: im starting to exist.. Its true, a sí remember my youth, is like i Washington somebody else..
Anyway, Thank u Again... hopin to remember the real me... Haha or develop, in case im a human soul...

[Dolphin]

Well, by awakening im referng moré or less about the protoi way.. But even there im far away.. I know all of the ítems and i find those doable, Well not easy, but dable..

Nobody knows the protoi way or what they do, except themselves, juu. Therefore you can not say that you are far away from it. You should cease to see it as a race or competition and Protois as idols or role models. You're still labeling at this point. Why do you want you to compare with protoi and wanna be like them?

Let's take this example:

I am the little dolphin and live together with a big whale in the ocean. We both have many similarities. We look very similar such as fishes, have fins, live in the same water space and are even classified the same, such as mammals. But for what reason I should compare myself with these giant? I could eat as much crabs or cuttlefish as I can but I'd never grow the size of a whale. I will never learn to sing their wales songs, no matter how much I exert myself. To use your words it's just not doable. Their way will never be mine, because I'm always remind and stay that little dolphin.

Im now finding my individuality, Well, i think i am.. Im just in the pase where im beggining to recognice Whois is really me, and what is not me.. In the chart it sayos that is importante to know Whois you really are, but hoy can u? Well, i guess in time youll remember.

This is a question of perspective. As long as we are in our physical bodies, we're not able to recognize who we really are. And I guess nobody won't remind me to check that back, when I am finally out of it ! Well, and wo claims to be the one that affirms to you that this is real and that is not? It's all about individual perception. Try to accept that you = juu = you at the moment. And juu is continiously evolving and developing step by step, like we others do it too. The awakening happens sooner or later to all (at least I hope so ). You cannot force it by yourself. Don't forget how many different species are incarnated. Maybe for some of them the conditions of awakening are easier and they can awake faster than others and for some the conditions are worse. To find out "Who is is really me" is not possible in my opinion, because our perception is very limited to the Avatars we use down here.

[juu]

Thanks for your comment. I meant that. Every word of it. It has calm me down.