I followed this thread, especially woodpigen's inputs and was about to add mine several times ... but .. did not. Why is that so?
I did question myself.
Was it because I had nothing really to say?
Was it because I felt it stupid to comment on such topic?
Was it ...?
No, it was actually because I had to much to say
... meaning that directly and also figuratively ... much and too much ... it's like about many people, many relationships ... all about "love" ... to much about "love" ... as if everything is revolving about that misterious word
(by now we already know that as of it's misuse it's actually not the word to be used, but ok, we have no better one), that misterious emotion?
is that really an emotion?
... we think we know it ... but we don't ... I dare say that ... maybe we feel it somewhere inside, some memory of it from ... well let's just say from far past ... but here, on this planet, with those given avatars, 3d bodies and all that comes with it ... it became such a mess
... confusion, abusse of, hurt, pain ... nothing nice, no peace ... so ... hm ... is this still love? Was there ever love? Is the pain that is so much connected to that famous love really part od "love" ? Is it possible that a pain is part of love?
How come? I do not understand. I'm confused. That can not be. Love and pain in the same sentence? Am I crazy not to accepet that? As no way that they belong together. So where's is the catch? Honestly ... I know and I do not know ... Much was already said here on forum and I agree. Even more I came to conclusion by just observing me, my partners, my love relationships, my actions and reaction, my startings and my endings, and mostly the emotional, physical and other pain and horror that surrounded that so called love
... which was supposed to bring me joy, peace ... and even more Love ... doesn't that read a bit illogical?
And by knowing even more ... I will add ... what did they done to us? As yes, they did
. They manipulated one of the most "clean" energy as love is energy, it's not really an emotion, but ok, emotions are also energy ... they manipulated us, others ... so we ourselves as a result misuse that energy also and give it negative connotation ... you see the pattern?
... I'm confused .. I write confused ... but I can't write and say it more simple as ... we are all too confused and messed up ... nothing here is very simple and straight forward ... logically, can't be ... as it would be to simple to resolve it ... oh, yes, they did a darn good job
... they messed us good
...
Right, you had enough of my loading ... once already said ... I talk a lot, but say not so much ... or maybe sometimes even I do ... sorry, I just wanted to support woodpigeon at ones' decions
... but ... how to do it? I could write some theory? I know none that seem legitimate enough ... I could repeat Alex's wise thoughts that "Love doen't hurt" ... but reading wp ... seems not enough ... I understand ... I can relate ... as I'm sure many of us can ... it hurts ... just hurts ... pain, pain, pain ... but again ... pain if I'm with the person ... and also, surprise, surprise ... pain if I'm not with the person ... bingo ... the only rational explanation having that in mind is ... influence, maniplulation, illusion, doesn't matter how you call it, it simply isn't "normal" to feel like that ... but till we get free of all that influences, we must try, only try and be strong enough ... to do the thing that is best for US (for me) in one particular matter ... not to fantasy about "the two of us" ... about the past lifes ... and other not really relevant foolishness ... I know, I know, it will hurt no matter what you do, unfortunattely (oh, yes, they really did a good job
) ... but try, really try to use your rational mind, you need to, even though the subject is about "love", which is supposed to have nothing to do with mind as such ... do what will hurt less - on a long run (not at that particular moment) ... sure, probably will hurt more, but will end (if you will give that pain a chance to diminish and you will not feed it even more), it will, I promise. But you must decide. YOU must decide. With whole your body or rather all your bodies. And stick to that decision no matter what will post festum came later into your mind, into your emotional body, into your ... as yes, they did a darn good job
... they only want you to hurt ... don't let them, don't. Wnen you will love, when you will really love, there will be no pain. When you will be loved, when you will really be loved, there will be no pain. It can't be. Oh, yes, they did a darn good job
... just think ... how many ... for a start just different pop artists and their songs ... "... love hurts ..." " ... love hurts ..." ... they are programmed .. we get programmed (on top of all the programms we already carry) ... never ending story ... try ending it ... end it ...
I promise, it can be done. it's not easy, it takes effort, but it can be done. I will not lie, it will hurt, but will hurt less and much, much shorter time than "usuall" ... well it's not much, but better than nothing ... for a start ... And obseve yourself, learn, you will find out a lot, you will be surprised ... at the end you will simply laugh at yourself .. how stupid (or rather influenced) you were ... I was just like you, probably still am, just I decided to act differently. And yes, that makes the difference ... the action ...instead of passivelly waiting the pain will go away ...
Oh, yes, I could write a story or two
... but will not, as it doesn't make sense anymore ... all emotional charge is gone ... the pain is gone ... so ... it can be done ... still, I dare say ... they did a darn good job
...such a good one, that long years I was just trying to find the door to escape ... but no way ... they did it like no matter which door I opened, there was pain on the other side - I could stay and hurt day by day more, destroying me (the partner, the children, the ...) - I could leave and hurt so much I'd come back (and hurt again more and more as above) ... - I could leave and hurt and finally start hating all the men as they are to be blamed for all the bad that was done to women (which is just a self defence to cover the severe pain) - I could leave, block myself on every possible level to ease the pain ... and in a way live no more ... etc. ... so finally I realised ... living the room was not the solution ... I had to change the room
... I had to change "myself", my responce ... but firstly I had to became familiar with me and my responce ... and when I did (at least a part big enough to make a difference) ... I realised that non of this, none of my horrific emotional response was "normal" ... no matter what I did, it hurt ... that can not be ... how can it hurt if I myself decide to leave, leave with full awareness of my own decision ... you know at this point it doesn't even matter whether is you who is not letting one go, or is the one who is not letting you go, or are maybe some ties from the previous incarnations or ... doesn't matter, really doens't ... you may look it whatever you want, all of mentioned are just influences, even though some might have even a bit "positive" connotation ... still, influences ... and acting, living, loving under influences???? Do you really want that? Are you sure?
... oh yes, they did a darn good job
... let us make this sentence stay in the past form ... every action counts ... you know ... cleaning and "cleaning" is one thing ... it doesn't mean when everything and all of us will be clean that everything will be simply fine and ok ... no, as influences etc. programmed us well and as being programmed and acting under those influences for so long, much of them became like habit/habits ... so, even without those influences, you may still act similar or the same as you did under influences ... simply because you are used to ... so start changing those habits ... it will not change over night, it's a process, but for sure everyone can do it.
That's it. I'm off. I long overdue exceeded its allotted time ...
And thank you for your time and patience
Love you all
. For real (ok, my reality as such)
.
And btw. ... I still belive in "love" ... they did a darn good job to make me not belive anymore ... but ... they failed
...