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Frank
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Frank » 03 Dec 2015 14:08

Lily,

everyone makes her/his own decisions.

For example:
TigerLily wrote:Never mind me and my babies fighting for our lives and others.


It was your decision to create new avatars. So now you don't have the time to care about yourself, not to read and understand what is needed.
That's sad, but your decision. Don't blame us for this.

More important:
Before you and "your people" came here, you got warned by us. In fact it was a "higher" part of me who warned you.
We told you not to come here.
We told you that here is a very bad place.
We told you, that a huge war is running here (since 18.800 years...).

But you and your people made the decision to belief the lies of the darks and came here.
Don't blame us for your decisions....

You jumped straight into a war zone, knowing it.
And now you are "crying" because all is shit down here.
Yes, you are right, all is shit down here, BUT we told this to you before you came here....

So stop crying and start to do the needed things to help yourself, or decide to not to do it...
Your decision.
But don't blame us for your decisions...
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Frank » 03 Dec 2015 14:45

TigerLily wrote:and no others are allowed to participate, that is the basis of a god complex, no insults intended, nor do I think you have one, stating an observation ;). "I save the world, but no one else can" that is god status....


Here is WAR!
Since 18.800 years.
Here are 4 main parties in the war.
These 4 parties are the "big players" in it.
We Protoi are one of the 4.
And we Protoi are the only of the 4 parties who follow light rules!

And most of those "lightworkers" who are not in Protoi Alliance, or not following the orders, are not included in the war.
They play stupid games! They do more harm than benefit to the world!
And we are "pissed off" of them because not that we are the only ones real fighting against the 3 dark war factions,
we also need to clean their shit too...

They don't notice cause-effect situation.
Look at Cobra's blog. They are all so happy about what great thing they did in the last big meditation...
Fuck, they made some OIC timelines better, game timelines... Nothing more...
And it was the EFFECT of our earlier cleanings in OIC (which you can read in details in "war news"...).
Without our earlier cleanings nothing would have happened in the meditations...

So yes, we do this fucking job and war alone. But did we chose it?
No, we do it alone, because the others chose to play games instead of doing real fight.
We accepted it, and now we prefer to do the job without someone if we notice, that the "help" of someone would make more trouble than benefit...

So your decision...
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Δύναμις » 03 Dec 2015 15:02

TigerLily wrote:Nott funny Alex. Lost in space, very familiar .......

Oh, well, it is a bit funny for sure and try to see from this perspective too, as it will help you relax a bit and even make fun out of the situation. Maybe not the best but definitely a helpful way to overcome almost everything. Imagine you are a little child that was told not to play in the mud and it comes back sad because the nice dress is all dirty now. Consider it as an experience that had to be done, in order to go on. I am terribly sorry that it was such a painful experience though, but it changes nothing if you keep living in grief and sorrow.

Any...... Ways......


Um. I don't think what I do is enough, I feel who I touch is very little. .... More needs to be done, I go crazy not knowing what. This is what I want to understand, the other sides of the puzzle cause there's lots of dark anchor points down here, being I chose to take a couple out myself was never enough tho I admit I try.

The more desperately we want to help, the most frustrated we get and at the end we only take wrong decisions that increase the problems instead of eliminating them. You can't close a hole by opening a new one besides it. That's why you need to turn off your emotions (some of them are not even yours, but influences) and calm down for the first. Panic won't help anyone. You can't help if you are in such a state yourself. You have to learn to suppress emotions as long as needed and use simple common sense to approach even such painful problems. Emotions and helplessness are the wrong guides.

I mean to not waste ur time. Only satiate my strong energetic pulls towards planetary healing... From all angles... My bad you are in delicate days and I am arrogant for reasons of my past, I've dreamed my whole life of being lost in space. It's hard to come down. It is very hard, but we are here for you too. We help where we can. I will respect your time, and work already given before commenting........ And if you kick me Why should I? As long as you don't call me "ugly, nasty bitch", I don't have a reason to kick you :happy-smileyflower: . then I not feel bad for clogging up ur post with my self, shortly.... :shock:



I never said I am infallible, but I always claimed to be honest and fair to everyone, who deserves honesty and fairness.
Even if our forum is only a small one, it is full of jewels (=members) and I am grateful for every new asset.

:romance-grouphug:
TigerLily

Re: Questions

Unread postby TigerLily » 03 Dec 2015 17:02

Guys I am sure I reincarnated a cat, and a dog, into my new babies (not literally into I was aware the energy "drives" the body and isn't actually in it)...

This isn't spiritual shit... I'd stake their life's on it, if its not them, then its tricked to have all their features, voice, memories and behaviors and marking and eyes and smell and hair color well you get it...


So I am finding... A breach in our communications. (To trust you are not another snake oil spiritual group)

Please explain this phenomina, any reasons for it? My animals/children. You are telling me this is not possible? I assure you, it happened. I want to breach trust/communication issues so I can communicate in full confidence ....

As for being at war Frank I'm sorry n I wish we could help (my energy drives me nuts, I have too much here and my illness clogs it all up...) So its hard for me to suppress my feelings (to help), I feel worse physical pain when I do, so I explode emotionally my desire to change n help. But you say onlky protoi has the technology, well my energy bottles n has no where to go..

I'm not interested in lightworker games, and am drawn here, but let's see about this animal incarnation thing ?? Hmm...

As for wanting to come here what other reason could I have wanted to come except to effect things here n help, my energy bottles when I cannot n I feel pain in my legs specifically. Bottles anger. Intense anger (at the darkness/manipulations). If you are implanting crystals still I will ask for one now when/if you have any time...

I want to help everything or my energy feels wrong. I cannot contain the level of power I function at blows a regular persons mind, so I feel sad to sit in a corner, my energy physically cripples me when I hide who I am away. I have intense anger to help this, all bottled.......

When you get time guys, my communication at you ^ ty :)
TigerLily

Re: Questions

Unread postby TigerLily » 03 Dec 2015 17:03

I don't have a keyboard so sorry if blunt :ooo thank-you for the jokes n teasing I miss home much n good times yes w ppl who can laugh ty :)
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Frank » 03 Dec 2015 17:22

Yes it is possible that your kids have "souls" which were before in cats or dogs.
I think the main communication problem here is, that "soul" topic often get mixed around.
It's a common way to prepare "fresh" ones for this fractal ambient in cats and dogs...
But these are not cat-souls, not dog-souls. They are like you or me, just earlier in an animal...

The point is, that in cats or dogs they don't have a connection which is comparable to us (or dolphins and elephants).
Even in plants are the same kind of souls as we have, in detail there are mostly from human odigos.
One "soul" of them can be in a few 100k plants at same time.
So if you eat animals or plants don't make a real difference, as long as you don't eat dolphins or elephants... (only OIC ones are different in this case, that's why they spread the nonsense...)

Read about consciousness field, the fractalization of it. If a soul who was connected to a cat is now
connected to a kid, I would expect, that it has some cat behavior. That's the ego (again, our meaning of ego, not common egoism...).

And above I write in purpose "connected to" instead of incarnated!
This planet is an avatar planet (so we all are blue... :laughing-rolling: ), no one is incarnated here.
In the higher levels of this property we have aspect bodies, these aspect bodies are carrying our real body, in my species case the outer core. That's where we are "incarnated". You too, even if your "body" is not the same outer core species as mine...
astrochimp

Re: Questions

Unread postby astrochimp » 01 Mar 2016 19:47

Frank wrote:It was your decision to create new avatars. So now you don't have the time to care about yourself, not to read and understand what is needed.
That's sad, but your decision. Don't blame us for this.

More important:
Before you and "your people" came here, you got warned by us. In fact it was a "higher" part of me who warned you.
We told you not to come here.
We told you that here is a very bad place.
We told you, that a huge war is running here (since 18.800 years...).

But you and your people made the decision to belief the lies of the darks and came here.
Don't blame us for your decisions....

You jumped straight into a war zone, knowing it.
And now you are "crying" because all is shit down here.
Yes, you are right, all is shit down here, BUT we told this to you before you came here....


Here's something that's been bothering me for the last couple of years but I couldn't put into words until now. I don't mean to offend.

Frank, you either didn't make the right argument(s) or there is more to the story, or something in between but you're not giving us the whole story. What did the darks tell us that you couldn't counter? Did they promise us rapid evolution? What could they have conveyed that caused the *vast majority* of people to come down here?

I ask this because you're constantly riding us that we got tricked (i.e., you fools! :mrgreen: ) and how you did all you could but to no avail. There's the other part of this story that'll be more useful to people. All kinds of species and beings being tricked... were they all just that naive about the nature of negativity and darkness?

What could you have done better to prevent this situation? :confusion-questionmarks:
delta

Re: Questions

Unread postby delta » 26 Jun 2016 05:49

Short intro for this often silent observer

Like alc who posted here earlier, I too struggle with drug abuse. My life has always been "quiet" in my perception, ive never had many friends and always struggled to find the opportunity to make good connections. My communication skills seem to be lacking despite some of the assumptions people make about me because how they think I look or my generally pleasant demeanour. Either I have become adept at hiding my pain or its part of the "plan" for me. All I want is to be useful and to feel the affection of someone else. So I end up in the arms of what I am believing are darks because the girls I like always leave me sad and unhappy. I think what scares me most is the only way I can tel the difference is after the fact. Ive been looking to this people to help lift me up with constant failure. Even so, this is only a personal concern of mine on the back of everything else that plagues the mind from famine to flood, so many things I've found myself turned to a diet of unsatisfying mental obliteration and empty entertainment in an attempt at distraction over further self destruction. What stops me from the latter is my desire to beat this weakness we call the dark, and the pain it would cause my family.

So I've been existing as a static creature with dynamic expectations. Stupid, I know it is, but I don't know how to exist. I often dream of being without a body and would love to be free again.

I'm posting here today because I've hit one of the lowest points in years, and my frustration and anger just want to explode out from me and destroy. I cannot be a another mindless perpetrator.

I understand what Frank was trying to explain in his recent video, I feel I've always been at that level since learning these new truths when I first washed up here some years ago. This year will be my 25th, I need a purpose outside of myself, give me a task to help clean this world. I don't know how to beat this evil. I don't know if I can survive all this indefinitely. I need something to hold onto.
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Pegazus » 26 Jun 2016 09:50

delta wrote:Short intro for this often silent observer

Like alc who posted here earlier, I too struggle with drug abuse. My life has always been "quiet" in my perception, ive never had many friends and always struggled to find the opportunity to make good connections. My communication skills seem to be lacking despite some of the assumptions people make about me because how they think I look or my generally pleasant demeanour. Either I have become adept at hiding my pain or its part of the "plan" for me. All I want is to be useful and to feel the affection of someone else. So I end up in the arms of what I am believing are darks because the girls I like always leave me sad and unhappy. I think what scares me most is the only way I can tel the difference is after the fact. Ive been looking to this people to help lift me up with constant failure. Even so, this is only a personal concern of mine on the back of everything else that plagues the mind from famine to flood, so many things I've found myself turned to a diet of unsatisfying mental obliteration and empty entertainment in an attempt at distraction over further self destruction. What stops me from the latter is my desire to beat this weakness we call the dark, and the pain it would cause my family.

So I've been existing as a static creature with dynamic expectations. Stupid, I know it is, but I don't know how to exist. I often dream of being without a body and would love to be free again.

I'm posting here today because I've hit one of the lowest points in years, and my frustration and anger just want to explode out from me and destroy. I cannot be a another mindless perpetrator.

I understand what Frank was trying to explain in his recent video, I feel I've always been at that level since learning these new truths when I first washed up here some years ago. This year will be my 25th, I need a purpose outside of myself, give me a task to help clean this world. I don't know how to beat this evil. I don't know if I can survive all this indefinitely. I need something to hold onto.



What exactly do you want to do?
Let me introduce you the http://www.protoi-healing.org/.
You can buy cards with healing crystals there and learn how to use them so you can cure yourself.

If you want to build up yourself you have to start somewhere.
You might not want somebody else as a basis for this.Especially not girls.
My opinion.
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Δύναμις » 26 Jun 2016 13:33

delta wrote:Short intro for this often silent observer Right... silent, far too silent... which is not really good in your case. We have more members that prefer to stay in the background, but they at least seek for direct communication sometimes and this makes it easier for us to give them a hand (if possible).

Like alc who posted here earlier, I too struggle with drug abuse. My life has always been "quiet" in my perception, ive never had many friends and always struggled to find the opportunity to make good connections. My communication skills seem to be lacking despite some of the assumptions people make about me because how they think I look or my generally pleasant demeanour. Either I have become adept at hiding my pain or its part of the "plan" for me. All I want is to be useful and to feel the affection of someone else. So I end up in the arms of what I am believing are darks because the girls I like always leave me sad and unhappy. Would you want to be with someone who expects you to make her happy? Are you aware of the burden you put on the other by "expecting"? Pegazus is very right with his comment! I think what scares me most is the only way I can tel the difference is after the fact. Ive been looking to this people to help lift me up with constant failure. = They didn't meet your expectations. No one ever will, because you keep silent waiting for things to change. If you want something to be changed then learn to move your butt to get it! Not the others are responsible for you, but you for yourself. Even so, this is only a personal concern of mine on the back of everything else that plagues the mind from famine to flood, so many things I've found myself turned to a diet of unsatisfying mental obliteration and empty entertainment in an attempt at distraction over further self destruction. What stops me from the latter is my desire to beat this weakness we call the dark, and the pain it would cause my family.

So I've been existing as a static creature with dynamic expectations. Stupid, I know it is, but I don't know how to exist. I often dream of being without a body and would love to be free again. Your body is not your prison (although it is in some way). Yourself is imprisoned, but not in your body. The freedom you are looking for is not outside this body.

I'm posting here today because I've hit one of the lowest points in years,Cleanings side effect, you'll survive, no worries :happy-smileyflower: and my frustration and anger just want to explode out from me and destroy. I cannot be a another mindless perpetrator.

I understand what Frank was trying to explain in his recent video, I feel I've always been at that level since learning these new truths when I first washed up here some years ago. This year will be my 25th, I need a purpose outside of myself, give me a task to help clean this world. I don't know how to beat this evil. I don't know if I can survive all this indefinitely. I need something to hold onto. Why do you ignore it then? You are L2, you don't need "something to hold on", you have it already, you just can't see it because it is covered with "common spiritual(?) or other trash". You don't need anything else but find your real self!
delta

Re: Questions

Unread postby delta » 27 Jun 2016 07:44

I haven't sought direct help because I thought it to be selfish when you consider the rest of the world, I posted because I am becoming desperate and feeling like I'm more broken the more I move forward.

Yes I am aware how unhealthy co-dependence is, I don't expect another person to simply make me happy, my goal isn't to build myself through someone else. The point was how do I know where to invest my energy if I am drawn to soul sucking idiots when I reach out to others? This leaves me feeling doomed to isolation or misery in the company of others.

I have been trying to make changes, and speaking broadly I have found myself in a worse state than when I started. I've tried to use the lotus chant many times and mentally I challenge all negativity but I don't feel like I'm making progress.

If this body is a prison, how is it also not? do you mean that it has potential outside of negative influence?

I do not feel connected to anything, just pain, loneliness and endless frustration. I will order a crystal. Thank you for your words.
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Re: Questions

Unread postby beholder » 27 Jun 2016 08:59

:greetings-waveyellow: delta

I was astonished while reading your lines because a hundred percent of what you wrote applies to me, too.

Since _every_ attribute of your situation is familiar with me, I venture to state that I fully understand how shit this misery feels like.

The bad thing is that I can't write any encouraging. My experience is that there is no other solution but to acknowledge the situation and deal with it.

With time, one just gets accustomed to these feelings. One can't do anything else anyway.

The good thing is that one becomes extremely strong spiritually.

My strategy to survive this is that I try simply not to think of this. When the negative emotion comes, I mentally take an effort to think about something else. On the other hand, I'm pervert sometimes and willingly sink into this and feel sorry for myself. Sometimes, it just comforts me.

If it has happened that you have been trapped, try to discover the prison. It's a prison but it's quite big, fortunately. Seek after new experiences.

Go to a language teacher, a music teacher.

Get massages (there're a million kinds of them), attend a heavy metal concert, go to a spa, try the sauna. Try the tandem parachute jump. It doesn't require much preliminary training.

Try to do a sport _regularly_. Jogging or lifting weight in a gym. This has a HUGE positive effect.

It doesn't matter if you do these alone. The potential will always be there that this time, something will happen! If not, then just take the next turn. And again, and again!
LeeDee

Re: Questions

Unread postby LeeDee » 27 Jun 2016 10:33

delta wrote:I haven't sought direct help because I thought it to be selfish when you consider the rest of the world, I posted because I am becoming desperate and feeling like I'm more broken the more I move forward.

Yes I am aware how unhealthy co-dependence is, I don't expect another person to simply make me happy, my goal isn't to build myself through someone else. The point was how do I know where to invest my energy if I am drawn to soul sucking idiots when I reach out to others? This leaves me feeling doomed to isolation or misery in the company of others.

I have been trying to make changes, and speaking broadly I have found myself in a worse state than when I started. I've tried to use the lotus chant many times and mentally I challenge all negativity but I don't feel like I'm making progress.

If this body is a prison, how is it also not? do you mean that it has potential outside of negative influence?

I do not feel connected to anything, just pain, loneliness and endless frustration. I will order a crystal. Thank you for your words.


Right, delta ... I will not write anything smart as I'm not really good at consolation nor at mood uplifting ... I'm more on a butt kicking side ... but only if I'm on the active side of butt kicking :lol: :lol: ... But I will not do it with you as I sensed the type of fragility that can't "handle" much kicking (you'll get enough from others) - I'm even worse, I'm so sensitive that even a bad and mean look could hurt me ... actually at the moment only one or two person in the world I know I would even allow to gently kick my ass ...
And you ...well ... must say I like you a lot ... but that mean "You", what I feel you really are ... and not how you manifest yourself here, your self pity, your attitude towards "life", towards others and mostly towards yourself (how could I ? I don't even know you.) ... but "you", you I like ...
and also many of other mentioned things ... things that you identify yourself with ... most of us did ... many still do ... some all the time ... some occasionally ... some once in a while ... believe me ... we all have "our moments" ... but that musn't become yours (or others or ours) excuse to get stuck in them ... as they don't do you any good ... sure ... nothing is really different if you step out ... but only at a first glance ... as with staying in you actuallly worsen the whole situation ... never ever did pity and selfpity do anyone any good ... nor did consolation, let's be fair ... mostyl it all rolles around caressing one's ego ... what you need is understanding (true understanding) and acceptance ... of you ... and you have both of those ... but ... understanding and acceptance of you doesn't mean "acceptance and understanding" of your actions and reactions ... we shouldn't as well as you shouldn't if they do you bad ... you don't need to change you, you only need to change your attitude ... actions will follow themselves ...

You know ... none of us is completely and utterly and totally and of utmost satisfied with "our life" ... me, I already introduced myself with minus zero satisfaction and remembering posts from many others :confusion-seeingstars: ... at least you move forward ... I myself feel stuck ... no, not really true ... I feel I moved backwards ... not only I notice zero progression regarding "my development" ... when reading achievements of others ... I at first moment get grapped by some sort of surrendor/despair ... as ... why them yes ... and why me not ... but ... no, I do not allow myself to stay in that state of mind/feeling ... as ... their progression is their progression ... it doesn't do me bad in any way ... also ... is all that they wrote and perceive regarding themselves really "true", objectively true? ... for them yes, maybe ... for me obviously not ... and most important ... I never really felt I needed any huge evolvement :laughing-rolling: :laughing-rolling: ... its' all there, I feel it (just not sure where it got lost :confusion-seeingstars: ) ... and I somehow am not willing to learn things twice :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: ... I know I know ... but it's my way of staying at least "subjectively normal" ... as yes ... I feel it unfair ...
right, totally lost track ... or maybe even not ...

I'll just add a sentence regarding "where to invest my energy if I am drawn to soul sucking idiots when I reach out to others? This leaves me feeling doomed to isolation or misery in the company of others." ... Don't over analyze it. With it you have 50/50 percantage chance you'll make mistake ...If/when you find yourself in that "soul sucking" relation ... you simply ... leave it ... again, without over analizying it (as you'll probably come to wrong conclusions) ... that you can do :happy-smileyflower: ... Do you think that we here are flicking of hurdles of close friends :lol: ... not really ... And if you think that you "need" them, than for sure you are as well taking ... demanding ... I like to say that those kind of relations are pure exploitation or even abuse (on other levels t.i.) ...

Body and imprisonment? That I'll leave alone ... I'm not thrilled either ... but I have it (this body mean) ... for the time being ... and I'll act in this time being ... all good for it :wink: ...

Truism but still ... chin up :happy-sunshine: (I'm holding mine with all gadgets available :-D ) ...
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Ribo » 27 Jun 2016 10:52

delta wrote:
I do not feel connected to anything, just pain, loneliness and endless frustration.


Try to find out how to remove pain, loneliness and frustration?
You could find out whats causing these 3 things.
I think you need to find out the root whats causing these 3 things or whatever it is.

Atleast to me this sounds obvious.
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Drack » 27 Jun 2016 12:34

delta wrote:I haven't sought direct help because I thought it to be selfish when you consider the rest of the world, I posted because I am becoming desperate and feeling like I'm more broken the more I move forward.

Yes I am aware how unhealthy co-dependence is, I don't expect another person to simply make me happy, my goal isn't to build myself through someone else. The point was how do I know where to invest my energy if I am drawn to soul sucking idiots when I reach out to others? This leaves me feeling doomed to isolation or misery in the company of others.

I have been trying to make changes, and speaking broadly I have found myself in a worse state than when I started. I've tried to use the lotus chant many times and mentally I challenge all negativity but I don't feel like I'm making progress.

If this body is a prison, how is it also not? do you mean that it has potential outside of negative influence?

I do not feel connected to anything, just pain, loneliness and endless frustration. I will order a crystal. Thank you for your words.


i can relate with you right now for like 100%. but on my side this whole started a few weeks ago again . before that i made big jumps until i hit a wall and got stuck..
so what i want to tell you that this overly painful situation could be because of the things which are happening right now. since 2 days for example i just want to cry or am overly negatively against everything and can´t get out. but after you overcome that pain there is always relief.. and firstly you have to get to this point of relief and then you should take this relief and transform it into motivation to kick your own butt.
well.. that´s my plan atm :happy-smileyflower: but i thought this plan can be used for others :D.

the crystal (if you take the free healing one) wouldn´t help as much as you think.. sure it can but mostly it will rip dark things out of you and this will release much more shit you have to handle like more emotional and physical pain sometimes.
stay safe and hold the crystal on low percentage just for safety.

the "soulsuckers" you mentioned can´t suck on you if you don´t want it. that´s so simple and still so hard to do :happy-smileyflower:
that´s the only thing i can write to that because i got my own problems and havn´t just noticed that right now.
the best method is still to say "well, i can´t take your shit anymore" and to leave.. if you can do that.

just as beholder wrote :just do it again and again until you got to that point where it breaks through. nothing lasts forever. stay strong .

:romance-grouphug:
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Re: Questions

Unread postby Grayfox » 27 Jun 2016 13:10

delta wrote:Short intro for this often silent observer

Like alc who posted here earlier, I too struggle with drug abuse. My life has always been "quiet" in my perception, ive never had many friends and always struggled to find the opportunity to make good connections. My communication skills seem to be lacking despite some of the assumptions people make about me because how they think I look or my generally pleasant demeanour. Either I have become adept at hiding my pain or its part of the "plan" for me. All I want is to be useful and to feel the affection of someone else. So I end up in the arms of what I am believing are darks because the girls I like always leave me sad and unhappy. I think what scares me most is the only way I can tel the difference is after the fact. Ive been looking to this people to help lift me up with constant failure. Even so, this is only a personal concern of mine on the back of everything else that plagues the mind from famine to flood, so many things I've found myself turned to a diet of unsatisfying mental obliteration and empty entertainment in an attempt at distraction over further self destruction. What stops me from the latter is my desire to beat this weakness we call the dark, and the pain it would cause my family.

So I've been existing as a static creature with dynamic expectations. Stupid, I know it is, but I don't know how to exist. I often dream of being without a body and would love to be free again.

I'm posting here today because I've hit one of the lowest points in years, and my frustration and anger just want to explode out from me and destroy. I cannot be a another mindless perpetrator.

I understand what Frank was trying to explain in his recent video, I feel I've always been at that level since learning these new truths when I first washed up here some years ago. This year will be my 25th, I need a purpose outside of myself, give me a task to help clean this world. I don't know how to beat this evil. I don't know if I can survive all this indefinitely. I need something to hold onto.
Hi delta (by the way, we are close in proximity :happy-smileyflower: ).
Please don't accept pain as part of the "plan for you". If I've learned anything from my time here, it's that pain is very dangerous, much more so than most people think. It's not healthy. "No pain, no gain" is just bullshit. You want to grow, sure, push your limits gently. But don't hurt yourself, don't overdo it. (I'm a total noob in that area, but that's just my "intuitions" about it so far). As for wanting to be useful and feel the affection of someone else - there's no need to worry about that stuff. You've got enough on your plate. You want to feel affection? Try and sense it coming from all the people who have responded to you here. You'll find it for sure. Don't worry about trying to "feel useful", I've been there, it's just another way to beat yourself up. Wait till you're feeling good and calm and peaceful, and decide what YOU want to do. Be useful to yourself. You need it the most right now. You're very worried about the pain you may cause your family, perhaps more so than the pain you have right now. It's not you, it's not useful. If you want to "be useful", challenge the pain. It doesn't belong. It doesn't have a useful place.

I'm sure you can come up with a purpose on your own, but at the moment, you sound extremely overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts, many of which is probably not even your own. Yes, you might be there and think that and feel that so many times, but this doesn't make it "your own". I have been there so many times, that I possibly understand what you're experiencing. I used to trust all my emotions 100%, because I felt that they were telling me something useful, that I had something valuable to learn from them. NOPE. Sure, emotions can be useful, and my work into emotional mechanics has helped me tremendously (eventually), but what I learned is that most emotions are PURE SHIT. They don't tell you anything useful, they don't help you, they just paralyse you. If you try and listen to them, you'll - literally - be stuck. This actually happened to me (PHYSICALLY), many times.

What is useful, is how you feel when your emotions are NOT overwhelming you (maybe). Anyway, what's also useful, very helpful, is to destroy/vanquish/disintegrate all those foolish foreign emotions, as best as you can, so you establish some kind of calm and peace inside, a base to work with. And from where, you can ask yourself simple questions, eg. "What do I want to do today?" And it can be something really simple, "I want to cook this meal, and empty the bin, and tidy up a little of the kitchen". Nothing hard. And if you do what you wanted, you'll feel great. Even if you didn't, you set yourself an objective and you worked towards it.

If you want to watch a movie, and eat some cookies, do that. But decide to do it. Start with the calm, ask yourself, what do you want to do, and answer it. I'm only sharing little things which have helped me recently. I often fall into the "rabbit hole of emotions" that you describe. And it's many things, can be called many names: The pit of despair, The hole of hopelessness, The hall of horrors. It's really nothing useful. It's SHIT. And yes, we fall into it many times, especially at the beginning of a new day, you're already in it. Whether its habit or influence, I don't know. It doesn't matter why you fall into it. The point is, you can GET OUT of it. Even if only for one minute.

By the way, it took maybe 20 minutes of focusing on "vanquishing those emotions" till I could get to a place to comfortably write this post. I have many struggles with it, but I also have many moments of being free from it. If I did it, from where I started, then you can do it too. I have had so many problems, maybe too many to fit into one post, mainly about expressing myself, sexuality, women, etc. And those problems have improved, slowly by slowly, year by year, layer by layer. Every time I experience a 1% or even 0.1% tangible improvement, I smile and jump for joy. This means something to me. Most of the other times, I don't say a word. I usually don't like to share my problems so freely.

The fact that you're so worried about "not being a mindless perpetrator" means that you aren't. That's the very opposite definition of being mindless. You are probably, TOO mind-full :mrgreen: . I say that because I have been there, and am often still there. The mind doesn't produce many useful thoughts when left to its own devices. You've got to answer the questions yourself, and not trust the useless answers you've been getting so often, for so long.


delta wrote:I haven't sought direct help because I thought it to be selfish when you consider the rest of the world, I posted because I am becoming desperate and feeling like I'm more broken the more I move forward.

Yes I am aware how unhealthy co-dependence is, I don't expect another person to simply make me happy, my goal isn't to build myself through someone else. The point was how do I know where to invest my energy if I am drawn to soul sucking idiots when I reach out to others? This leaves me feeling doomed to isolation or misery in the company of others.

I have been trying to make changes, and speaking broadly I have found myself in a worse state than when I started. I've tried to use the lotus chant many times and mentally I challenge all negativity but I don't feel like I'm making progress.

If this body is a prison, how is it also not? do you mean that it has potential outside of negative influence?

I do not feel connected to anything, just pain, loneliness and endless frustration. I will order a crystal. Thank you for your words.


The fact that you are MOVING, is progress. Maybe you learnt something that doesn't work, maybe you saw something in a new light, maybe you realised something new, saw something from a new perspective. That's progress / evolution / growth. Your thoughts sound extremely similar to the bullshit thoughts that I have had for so long. But they simply aren't true. A couple of months ago, I felt useless, helpless, felt that I would never share companionship with another person, all this other false nonsense. It simply wasn't true. Don't believe it.

But please, don't rush it. Be easy on yourself, the "road to happiness" doesn't need to be taken in a single day. Be easy, take it a step at a time, do something only when you feel fully comfortable and ready to do it. And yet, there are times when you are fully ready and comfortable to try something, but maybe you haven't figured every detail out yet. Maybe your "autopilot mind" hasn't given you the clearance. But your "decision mind" wants to try it. So try it!

And, the hardest part, be gentle on yourself if you try something and it doesn't work out in exactly the way you wanted it to. Be aware, that pushing your boundaries, even if gently, can trigger some insane shit, perhaps the next day when you wake up (I had that - not fun). But it's still shit. Don't trust that either.

In summary, don't trust the shit! Challenge it whenever you have had enough of it, wait for the peace, when you get there, use your mind and ask yourself some simple, easy questions. Don't trust the shit!

"You don't feel like you're making progress" - this is probably because you're trusting that pile of nonsense called "your emotions". And probably i'm vastly oversimplifying things, but through my many, many experiences with emotions, I have found that often, they are NOT USEFUL AT ALL. Clear away those emotions, if you can. Walk in there, tell them to leave, and don't move until they leave. When they do (you might feel them dissolve bit by bit), then you have a clear thinking-ground. Ask yourself, "Have I made any progress?" And from there, you'll be able to get some clearer answers. Don't ask the question too early, or you'll get a lot of uninvited answers maybe.

I would also suggest to try the "Energy Download Video". I have had very positive results from using it. (Also try the dropbox crystal if you haven't already)


LeeDee wrote:Right, delta ... I will not write anything smart as I'm not really good at consolation nor at mood uplifting ... I'm more on a butt kicking side ... but only if I'm on the active side of butt kicking :lol: :lol: ... But I will not do it with you as I sensed the type of fragility that can't "handle" much kicking (you'll get enough from others) - I'm even worse, I'm so sensitive that even a bad and mean look could hurt me ... actually at the moment only one or two person in the world I know I would even allow to gently kick my ass ...
I just want to say here, LeeDee, I really love reading your posts. Even though I've never replied to any of them, I read them and I love them. They have this beautiful softness, sure, they kick butt sometimes, but they're also .. gentle. Unassuming, gentle stream of a river. Something like that. I am often told that my analogies are terrible :laughing-rolling: , but I want to also address a few of your points.

LeeDee wrote:You know ... none of us is completely and utterly and totally and of utmost satisfied with "our life" ... me, I already introduced myself with minus zero satisfaction and remembering posts from many others :confusion-seeingstars: ... at least you move forward ... I myself feel stuck ... no, not really true ... I feel I moved backwards ... not only I notice zero progression regarding "my development" ... when reading achievements of others ... I at first moment get grapped by some sort of surrendor/despair ... as ... why them yes ... and why me not ... but ... no, I do not allow myself to stay in that state of mind/feeling ... as ... their progression is their progression ... it doesn't do me bad in any way ... also ... is all that they wrote and perceive regarding themselves really "true", objectively true?
No, of course not. We all have our problems. As I stated earlier, I have had more problems than could fit into a single post. But I have gotten to this point where every improvement, is like gold for me. I don't like to burden others with my problems. If needed, if I feel really helpless, I might reach out occasionally. And I don't mean that it's bad to reach out. I just don't like to spread to others the helplessness. But delta, no worries. I understand.
So LeeDee, I often continue to have much struggles and problems, but I only publicly share (and even then, I hardly do it because posting here is still very difficult for me, getting easier, yes, definitely, but still, difficult. This post has taken 20-30 minutes so far in emotional work to write.. not counting the actual writing, which isn't hard once the emotions are in order (temporarily)) some of the good moments, the improvements. I like to share that feeling of, I had this terrible trouble, and it's gotten better for me, I was in "the depths of it", in an absolutely shitty place, and it's much better for me. So there's hope for anyone else.
I have only big hugs for you LeeDee :romance-grouphug: :happy-sunshine: :happy-smileyflower:

LeeDee wrote: ... for them yes, maybe ... for me obviously not ... and most important ... I never really felt I needed any huge evolvement :laughing-rolling: :laughing-rolling: ... its' all there, I feel it (just not sure where it got lost :confusion-seeingstars: ) ...
That's beautiful. I hope some more clarity reaches you soon :wink:

LeeDee wrote: and I somehow am not willing to learn things twice :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: ...
:laughing-rolling: It has taken me many, many times to learn certain things too.. I just kept getting a "butt-kicking" until I did (and no, it wasn't fun and I don't recommend it ! :lol: )

LeeDee wrote: Truism but still ... chin up :happy-sunshine: (I'm holding mine with all gadgets available :-D ) ...
:happy-smileyflower: :romance-grouphug: :romance-heartsthree:


Ribo wrote:
delta wrote:
I do not feel connected to anything, just pain, loneliness and endless frustration.


Try to find out how to remove pain, loneliness and frustration?
You could find out whats causing these 3 things.
I think you need to find out the root whats causing these 3 things or whatever it is.

Atleast to me this sounds obvious.


Ribo, you have the gift of simplicity and clarity here, but I think in delta's overwhelmed state, things are not so clear or so obvious :mrgreen:

One last thing, delta, you are NOT the avatar! I know, I always forget it too.

If anything I said doesn't apply to you or doesn't help, disregard it. All the best. :happy-smileyflower:

:romance-grouphug:
TenSuns

Re: Questions

Unread postby TenSuns » 27 Jun 2016 14:44

:text-goodpost:

Many thanks Grayfox! :obscene-drinkingcheers:
LeeDee

Re: Questions

Unread postby LeeDee » 27 Jun 2016 15:35

Grayfox wrote:



As your post was truly from the heart ... I appreciate your nice words :angelic-sunshine: ...
And ... you know ... a little bird :wink: told me ... only positive things about you :happy-sunshine: :happy-sunshine: :happy-sunshine:

Be well :angelic-little:
User avatar
Grayfox
Posts: 5668
Joined: 13 Feb 2016 18:37

Re: Questions

Unread postby Grayfox » 27 Jun 2016 21:39

LeeDee wrote:
Grayfox wrote:



As your post was truly from the heart ... I appreciate your nice words :angelic-sunshine: ...
And ... you know ... a little bird :wink: told me ... only positive things about you :happy-sunshine: :happy-sunshine: :happy-sunshine:

Be well :angelic-little:
:happy-sunshine: Thank you. And you too :angelic-little: :happy-smileyflower:
TenSuns wrote::text-goodpost:

Many thanks Grayfox! :obscene-drinkingcheers:
I was surprised to see your comment, but you're welcome :happy-sunshine:
eternalullaby

Re: Questions

Unread postby eternalullaby » 28 Jun 2016 06:19

Hi delta, I'm glad you're reaching out :romance-caress: There are so many wonderful people on this forum who are willing to listen and help you out in any way they can. And if you don't feel like posting about your personal situations publicly, you could always send a private message to someone. (My inbox is always open :smile: )

Although I'm not sure if it will be directly helpful to your unique situation, I'd like to just outline some of the ways I personally deal with any kind of negativity in my life. Maybe it'll be worth a try for you :happy-sunshine:

1) The dropbox crystal

This is the first tool I turn to when I detect any kind of negativity in my emotions, thoughts, etc. I immediately describe, down to every intricate detail, exactly what I'm thinking or feeling that's putting me in such a bad state. This has been very, very effective for me, and based on what I've heard and read from other members, very effective for them as well! Many times I've felt better just moments after interacting with the crystal. If you haven't had one put in your breastbone yet, I highly suggest you get one.

2) The Die fabelhafte Welt der Amelie, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, and Free Energy Download video triple threat

Not really a triple threat because it might be strange to listen to the chant and Christian Pommitz's tinkling of the ivories at the same time, but I just wanted to say 'triple threat' because it sounds cooler. :happy-smileyflower: But I don't know, maybe it would sound okay? Perhaps with one of them played louder than the other? Maybe it's time to experiment :mrgreen: Anyway, back to the main point. Each of these serves an individual purpose, and they really are indispensable tools that are available for our use at any time. The beautiful Die fabelhafte Welt der Amelie played by Christian Pommitz has extremely powerful emotional healing abilities (especially for grief). I've found that after a particularly turbulent day, listening to this piece on repeat for at least thirty minutes (but maybe longer depending on the severity and depth of the emotions felt) leaves me in a calm, peaceful, and relaxed state. I feel more ready to deal with the problem and work through it.
The Nam Myoho Renge Kyo chant is connected to large cleaning modules. Through this I find that with repeated listens of the YouTube video and mental chanting, I'm able to gain more clarity and objectivity in the situation. This again helps me to be better prepared in dealing with it head on. I find myself more emotionally detached and can see the situation for what it really is.
Lastly, the Free Energy Download video will just give you the energy boost you need (in all your bodies :-D ) I never knew what having a full energy level felt like until I turned on that video and made some simple commands. The difference is astounding! I have it on right now, and it's gone past 1,000 repeats already :happy-jumpyellow:

3) Talking to yourself out loud

Sometimes verbalizing your every thought and feeling can help you to see the situation in a new light and get a different perspective. When you are able to hear your inner dialogue out loud, it can sometimes prompt you to realize that maybe your situation wasn't as bad as you initially thought it to be, or that you were only looking at it from one angle. Even more, sometimes it can lead you to identifying the root causes of the problem as you continue through the process of speaking and listening (simultaneously, really) and discover why it is that you're feeling/thinking this way. Then, you may even stumble upon a solution :smile: I somehow get a lot of insight when I interact with myself in this way.
Talking to myself, no matter how absurd it may seem to my parents :lol: , has been massively beneficial for me, and maybe it will be for you, too.

Anyway, this post has been long enough :wink: These are just some suggestions of things that work for me, but they might not be useful for everyone and for every individual situation. Listing how I deal with negativity in this way may also simplify things that are in reality a bit more complicated, but I thought that it was worth a post. I hope that maybe you'll find something useful :romance-kisscheek:

You're awesome, delta, and know that we're always here for you! :romance-grouphug:

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