i took the time to check up all my problem-persons i had throughout my life, especially in school, which were a ton of people.
i´ve started to cut all connections from all of these, and this really helped me quite alot. sadly i didn´t knew all of the names anymore so i asked up Frank if he could do something
he could do something and as soon as this got started to remove, from all those people who have bullied me all through my life (started at kindergarten, pre-school .. etc etc) and everyone else, i immediately could throw up.
..well and i actually had to throw up directly.
this is an intense amount of connections into me , especially in problematic areas like intestines , and stomach which all seemingly triggered off.
after now 10 or 20minutes i had intense pains in the stomach, and extreme problems but now this all got way much better and especially, more quiet.
it´s still not done yet, there is a big bunch of BS connected to that but this already feels way much better, and since it got quieter (with cognition there is always noise, "stress" in some sort, pressure or anything else, in a not-so-easy-to-describe way) i could fall sleep directly
idk how this goes for now, i´ll see it tomorrow when i slept, but for now this changed quite alot. i hope for the better.